Ever since I have come to Muktsar, I have been hearing a lot about the annual fair held at Muktsar during Lohri called Maghi Mela to commemorate 40 martyrs or Muktas who laid down their lives for Guru Gobind Singh Ji in the battlefield of Khidrana. Different stakeholders give different descriptions of the Mela; bosses describe it as the period when one would not be able to meet the targets or one would have bumper sales depending upon the industry one is working. Children describe it as fun time when schools are closed and they can enjoy joy rides in the Mela. The foodies told me that it is the time when one gets to eat different langars and one can eat as much as they want; on top of that they don’t have to pay for it. But there is another stakeholder THE MALE out of all these who has two descriptions of the Mela which are very different. But before I get into the description given by males, let me share my experience of what I saw when the mela began. The roads were flooded with people on 13th and 14th of January – the main day of the fair though shops and eating joints were open for almost 10 days. I was expecting many families to come to enjoy the fair but as they say expect the unexpected; 80-90 percent of the people were men. Although Punjab is infamous for its skewed sex ratios but its’ not so bad that for every eight males there is only one female. So where have all the ladies gone, I was wondering!!!
It was then that I remembered the description of the fair given by “THE MALE” in some of my previous conversations. This stakeholder has two kinds of description depending upon what role he is playing; if he is in the role of son, father, husband, brother, or boyfriend, his description is completely different than that of the MALE. The father, son and those in similar roles describe it as the time when there are lots of people on the streets of Muktsar and ladies get ill-treated by the male counterparts. Men try to take advantage of the crowd.The MALE inside them describes it as an opportunity to see or feel the fairer sex more closely. I think this is the irony of a sex starved nation that the brother, son etc. is not allowing ladies to come out or do what they actually want to. It is our own thoughts as the MALE about the Mela or career choice or general outlook towards life that tends to dominate our views on how the ladies in our family should behave or act. If we are not happy with the fact that we cannot enjoy Maghi Mela with our mother, daughter or wife, we first need to change our thoughts for others’ wives, daughters, or mothers. Half of the problem would be solved that way. I don’t know how many ladies who showed up in the Mela got ill-treated, but I am sure irrespective of age most of the men must have appreciated the beauty of the ladies or judged them on their appearance; if not in public at least in their minds. This appreciation is preventing them from letting the women of their own families to turn up for the Mela; this attitude also makes them condemn those families whose women have come out in the Mela for not taking care of them.
What I feel is that both the descriptions of the Mela are within one individual; when it comes to our own families we have one yardstick and for society as a whole we have a different yardstick. We forget that we are not different from the society but a part of it so our special set of rules for our families has to submerge in our rules for society. Till the time that does not happen I do not know in how many more Maghi Melas to come, children will have to enjoy joyrides without their mothers.
It was then that I remembered the description of the fair given by “THE MALE” in some of my previous conversations. This stakeholder has two kinds of description depending upon what role he is playing; if he is in the role of son, father, husband, brother, or boyfriend, his description is completely different than that of the MALE. The father, son and those in similar roles describe it as the time when there are lots of people on the streets of Muktsar and ladies get ill-treated by the male counterparts. Men try to take advantage of the crowd.The MALE inside them describes it as an opportunity to see or feel the fairer sex more closely. I think this is the irony of a sex starved nation that the brother, son etc. is not allowing ladies to come out or do what they actually want to. It is our own thoughts as the MALE about the Mela or career choice or general outlook towards life that tends to dominate our views on how the ladies in our family should behave or act. If we are not happy with the fact that we cannot enjoy Maghi Mela with our mother, daughter or wife, we first need to change our thoughts for others’ wives, daughters, or mothers. Half of the problem would be solved that way. I don’t know how many ladies who showed up in the Mela got ill-treated, but I am sure irrespective of age most of the men must have appreciated the beauty of the ladies or judged them on their appearance; if not in public at least in their minds. This appreciation is preventing them from letting the women of their own families to turn up for the Mela; this attitude also makes them condemn those families whose women have come out in the Mela for not taking care of them.
What I feel is that both the descriptions of the Mela are within one individual; when it comes to our own families we have one yardstick and for society as a whole we have a different yardstick. We forget that we are not different from the society but a part of it so our special set of rules for our families has to submerge in our rules for society. Till the time that does not happen I do not know in how many more Maghi Melas to come, children will have to enjoy joyrides without their mothers.
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